A HEARTFELT THANK YOU TO MARDY FISH FOR PLAYING IN THE BNP PARIBAS TENNIS BY A FRIEND OF TENNIS & 10SBALLS.COM

Written by: on 13th March 2015
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A HEARTFELT THANK YOU TO MARDY FISH FOR PLAYING IN THE BNP PARIBAS TENNIS BY A FRIEND OF TENNIS & 10SBALLS.COM

Mardy Fish of the US in action during his first round match against Ryan Harrison of the US at the BNP Paribas Open tennis tournament in Indian Wells, California, USA, 12 March 2015. EPA/JOHN G. MABANGLO  |

AN OPEN LETTER TO MARDY FISH

 

To the guy who today left his heart on the court after an 18 month absence, thank you. To the guy that fought until the very end, thank you. To the guy who showed immense courage in fighting a difficult battle, thank you. To the guy that has inspired so many by openly discussing his pain, thank you. To the guy who showed that hard work and determination are life’s greatest motivators, thank you. To Mardy Fish, thank you. Thank you on so many levels.

 

My struggle with depression began when I was about 18 or 19. It was brought on by several things, but it came on strong. Even once I was able to resolve these issues and move past all the bad, I couldn’t shake the constant feeling of sadness and loneliness. My only solace during this time was the game of tennis. It was the beginning of the careers of the next generation of American men. You were one of these guys. Over time, through the help of family and friends (and my love of tennis), the depression got better, relatively speaking. But the anxiety began to creep in and take its place.

 

The first time I had an anxiety and panic attack, I was terrified. I thought I was having a heart attack. I didn’t know how else to explain it except that my heart felt like it was running on a hamster wheel. As I was being hooked up to the EKG machine, all I could do was pray. I didn’t know what was happening to me and I didn’t know how to react. Logically, I understood that I was fine. But calming myself seemed like the most impossibly daunting task I had ever faced. I gradually began to become reclusive and lethargic. As someone who has always been social and extroverted, this was extremely difficult for me to accept. The battle going on between my head and my body was excruciating.

 

I can’t even imagine the struggle you’ve encountered in the last few years. I’m not in the public eye. I don’t have thousands of people constantly analyzing and critiquing my every move, all the while not even slightly knowing or understanding your personal demons you’re fighting. What I can relate to though, is the idea that sharing your struggle is scary. It’s so incredibly scary.

 

But today, you conquered that fear. You walked out onto that court and held your head high. And though the score didn’t fall in your favor, you kept that head high as you left. You are a true encouragement to so many. The courage and bravery it took just to get out of bed this morning is so much more than simply commendable; it’s inspirational.

Mardy Fish of the US in action during his first round match against Ryan Harrison of the US at the BNP Paribas Open tennis tournament in Indian Wells, California, USA, 12 March 2015. EPA/JOHN G. MABANGLO

 

So once again, to the guy I consider a role model, thank you. You’ve given myself and so many others sharing in this struggle hope. You have a fan for life in me, and I will always be in your corner.

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