Ump Gives New Meaning to “Mug Shot”: By – Jack Neworth

Written by: on 30th August 2012
Ump Gives New Meaning to “Mug Shot”: By - Jack Neworth   |

           Hello tennis enthusiasts (and true crime aficionados) everywhere. This is my 3rd column concerning veteran tennis line umpire, Lois (“Lolo”) Goodman, 70, who was arrested last week in Manhattan just prior to working the U.S. Open. She was charged with the beating death of Alan Goodman, 80, with, of all things,  a coffee mug. The story has gone viral, so here’s my latest on Lolo.

            On Wednesday, August 29 and wearing an orange L.A. County prison jumpsuit, Lolo appeared in a Van Nuys Superior Court where she pled not guilty to murdering her husband of nearly fifty years at their Woodland Hills home on April 17. (And then leaving him to die while she got a manicure! I kid you not.) 

            During the arraignment hearing, Court Commissioner Mitchell Block agreed to lower Lolo’s bail from $1 million to $500,000. (She has lived in the San Fernando Valley since 1948, has 3 grown daughters and a grandchild who live nearby.)

            If Lolo does post bail (no easy feat as it means $50,000 cash and $500,000 collateral) she would be subject to electronic monitoring and only allowed to leave for religious services and medical appointments. (Or perhaps manicures?).

            In any event, Lolo will definitely not get out of jail in time to umpire the final week of the Open. (Which some might view as a shame because can you imagine the ratings?)

            Lolo’s attorney, the experienced and media-savvy Alison Triessl, had hoped bail would be $100,000. She argued that, due to her client’s severe physical disabilities (knee and shoulder replacements and chronic back and spine pain) Lolo couldn’t possibly have committed the murder.   

            To listen to Triessl go on and on it’s a wonder that Lolo didn’t enter the court on a stretcher. Frankly, I wasn’t sure if attorney Tressl was describing Lolo or Tiny Tim from Dickens’ A Christmas Carol.

            L.A. Deputy District Attorney, Lisa Tanner called the killing a “very violent and heinous crime.” She alleged that, after the murder, Lolo left to get her nails done before refereeing a tennis match. To me, if true, that suggests two things. One, that Lolo could get a lot done in a day. And two, you can’t question the woman’s professionalism. 

            Lolo is due back in court Oct. 3, to set  a date  for a hearing to determine if there is enough evidence for her to stand trial, which would seem likely. However, defense lawyer Robert Sheahen reminded reporters to “use the same size headlines for her acquittal as you have used for her arrest.” Touche, Bob. 

            Back on April 17th police were called to the Goodman’s Woodland Hills condo where they found a blood trail leading to Alan’s body and noted severe head wounds. But officers accepted Lolo’s story that her husband, apparently while holding a coffee mug, had fallen down the stairs before somehow managing to crawl back into bed where he died. (Forgive me, but that sounds like a grim version of “the dog ate my homework.”)

            In support of a reduced bail, several of Lolo’s friends, neighbors and family filled the court room, including two of her daughters. In a letter to the court, Alison Goodman Rogers insisted that her father’s death was nothing more sinister than a horrific accident. Her sister, Joan Goodman, wrote that their mother Lois had “a heart of gold.”

            “It made her happy to make him happy,” said Joan Goodman, detailing how her mother stocked the fridge with her father’s favorite foods, herring and buttermilk. (Are you nauseous? Obviously you’ve never enjoyed a stack of herring and buttermilk pancakes.)

            Curiously, Alan Goodman’s death almost went unquestioned. A cancer survivor, he was an 80-year-old diabetic with high blood pressure and depression.  According to an affidavit, responding police allowed Lois Goodman to transfer the body to a mortuary without an autopsy.

            But, two days before Alan was to be cremated, a coroner’s investigator questioned the death. (Was it normal for a dead guy to have shards of a coffee mug stuck in his head?) According to the NY Daily News, an autopsy literally found a piece of porcelain in Alan’s scalp. (Yikes!)

            In fact, police did not get a search warrant until days after Goodman died, which the defense will likely argue taints the evidence. While Triessl told reporters that Goodman’s family is “adamant that their mother did not do it,” prosecutors believe that Lolo may have been in a relationship with another man. (If so, what a coincidence if he too liked herring and buttermilk? Sorry about that.)

            Apparently, prosecutors will allege that the death was premeditated with an allegation that Lolo used “a deadly and dangerous weapon,” a coffee mug. (What’s next, “mug control?” Or a law allowing no mug bigger than a demitasse?)

            In this tough economy, I see potential negative ramifications from this tragedy for the coffee industry. Already threatened by 5 Hour Energy (comes in a plastic bottle, not a ceramic mug!) the industry is probably wary of lose terms like “coffee nerves” and haunted by headlines like “caffeine fiend.” Okay, maybe they’re not.

            All kidding aside, outside of a plea bargain, which seems unlikely, it looks like a lengthy jail stay for Lolo as it could be months or even a year until she actually stands trial. It makes me wonder if the Van Nuys jail employs a manicurist. Apparently the kidding just resumed.

A huge tennis fan, Jack Neworth writes a humor column every Friday in the Santa Monica Daily Press at www.smdp.com. He is also the co-author of” Men in White”, a screenplay about tennis legend Pancho Gonzalez and his rollercoaster forty-five-year friendship with fellow HOF player Pancho Segura. Jack can be reached at jnsmdp@aol.com

 

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