Wool Over Lace, Only One Manages the Front Page By. Sigrid Draper

Written by: Staff on 24th July 2013

Wool Over Lace, Only One Manages the Front Page By. Sigrid Draper |

CUTHBERT COLLINGWOOD “TED” TINLING WAS BORN ON JUNE 23, 1910. I WAS BORN FEBRUARY 20, 1943. HE WAS BORN IN ENGLAND; I WAS BORN IN RIGA, LATVIA! WHAT DO YOU THINK THE ODDS WERE THAT WE WOULD EVER MEET? I THINK YOU WOULD HAVE TO SAY “NONE”!

HE WAS AN ENGLISH TENNIS PLAYER (ALBEIT, WITH NO NOTABLE FOREHAND BACKHAND OR THE ABILITY TO ACE HIS WAY TO A THREE SET VICTORY), FASHION DESIGNER, SPY AND AUTHOR. I WAS AN UNPLEASANT SURPRISE IN THE COLD OF WINTER DURING THE START OF WORLD WAR II. I HAD NO CHOICE IN EITHER SITUATION.

AT AGE 13 “TED” WAS SENT TO THE FRENCH RIVIERA BY HIS PARENTS FOR HEALTH REASONS, (HIS HEALTH, NOT THEIRS), AS HE SUFFERED FROM A BAD CASE OF BRONCHIAL ASTHMA.

AT AGE 13 I WAS LIVING IN A CHILDREN’S HOME IN INGLEWOOD, CALIFORNIA BECAUSE I CAME TO A COUNTRY WHERE THE LATVIAN LANGUAGE WAS NOT HEARD OF LET ALONE SPOKEN. BEING IN THE MINORITY, I HAD THE GOOD SENSE TO DEDICATE SOME TIME IN LEARNING THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE. I LEARNED BEING ABLE TO COMMUNICATE WAS A GOOD THING!

TED MET SUZANNE LENGLEN ONE OF THE TOP TENNIS PLAYERS IN THE WORLD. I MET NO ONE! SUZANNE MADE HIM HER PERSONAL UMPIRE FOR TWO YEARS; I LEARNED HOW TO MAKE SCHOOL LUNCHES FOR THE YOUNGER KIDS AT THE HOME. THREE DIFFERENT SANDWICHES (PEANUT BUTTER, BALONEY AND MUSTARD, HAM AND CHEESE) FOR 50 IN ONE HOUR AT 5:00 A.M. UNTIL ONE SLEEPY MORNING I CONFUSED ALL THE INGREDIANTS AND THE SCHOOL CALLED THE SUPERINTNANT AND ACCUSED THE HOME OF TRYING TO POISON ITS KIDS. I THEN WAS RELAGATED TO MOPPING THE FLOOR. SKILLS I WAS NEVER TO USE AGAIN.

TED’S FIRST INVOLVEMENT WITH WIMBLEDON CHAMPIONSHIP WAS IN 1927

WHERE HE WAS A PLAYER LIAISON. THIS LASTED UNTIL 1949. WWII PLAYED NO FAVORITES EVEN IF YOUR NAME WAS CUTHBERT COLLINGWOOD TINLING! HOWEVER, WITH A NAME LIKE THAT, LIEUTENANT COLONEL IN THE INTELLIGENCE CORPS WAS NOT TOO SHABBY. HE WAS STATIONED IN ALGIERS AND GERMANY.

THE ODDS OF OUR MEETING ARE GETTING BETTER! I TOO WAS IN GERMANY IN 1949. DIDN’T MEET HIM THEN BUT WAS GAINING ON IT!

IT WASN’T UNTIL 1980 THAT I HAD THE PRIVILEGE OF MEETING THE TALL, BALD, OPENLY GAY, TALENTED, INVENTOR OF GUSSY MORAN’S LACE PANTIES. TO ME HE SEEMED BIGGER THAN LIFE. HE WORE ONE HUGE DIAMOND IN HIS EAR AND IT MADE ME THINK…IF YOU CAN’T AFFORD TWO, WHY NOT HAVE ONE “BIG” ONE! HE USUALLY WORE A SCARF AROUND HIS NECK AND YOU JUST KNEW IT WASN’T TO KEEP HIS NECK WARM. IT WAS STYLE!

I ENCOUNTERED HIM ON MANY OCCASIONS BUT ONE ENCOUNTER WAS ESPECIALLY FASCINATING. I NOTICED HE WAS WEARING A VERY VERY LOUD PLAID MUSTARD COLORED JACKET AND I COULDN’T HELP BUT COMMENT ON IT. “WHAT A FABULOUS” JACKET YOU ARE WEARING I SAID WITH AN ACTUAL STRAIGHT FACE. HIS EYES LIT UP AND HIS SMILE BROADENED AND I JUST KNEW WHAT WAS TO FOLLOW WOULD BLOW ME OUT OF THE WATER! I WAS RIGHT! TED SAID THAT HE HAD PICKED THAT MATERIAL OUT HIMSELF. HE FOUND IT IN A LITTLE OFF THE BEATEN PATH SHOP SOMEWHERE IN PARIS. THE MATERIAL WAS THE FINEST HE EVER SAW, FELT OR EVEN DREAMED ABOUT. MUCH, MUCH BETTER THAN PURPLE LACE. THERE WAS JUST A REMNANT OF A BOALT LEFT AND HE PLEADED TO BE ABLE TO PURCHASE IT. IT WAS PRICEY AND HE WAS IN HEAVEN! HE TOOK IT HOME IN GREAT ANTICIPATION AND HOPE THAT THERE WOULD BE ENOUGH TO MAKE A JACKET FOR HIMSELF! YES! THERE WAS JUST ENOUGH! WHAT A FIND, A REAL INDULGENCE AND GIFT TO BE CHERISHD FOREVER!

THE JACKET WAS MADE AND HE LUXURIATED IN IT EACH TIME HE WORE IT. UNFORTUNATELY THERE CAME A TIME THAT HE HAD TO TAKE IT TO THE CLEANERS, WHICH HE DID. WHEN HE WENT TO PICK IT UP THERE WAS DISMAL NEWS. THE CLEANERS WAS BURGLARIZED AND HIS PRIZED JACKET WAS ONE OF THE STOLEN ITEMS. TED SAID HE WAS DISTRAUGHT TO THE POINT THAT HE WAS CONVINCED LIFE WOULD NEVER AGAIN BE THE SAME.

FOUR MISERABLE, LONELY YEARS WENT BY AND HE, BY THIS TIME, HAD RESIGNED HIMSELF TO THE FACT THAT THE JACKET WAS GONE, NEVER TO BE SEEN AGAIN.

THIS IS WHERE THE FICKLE FINGER OF FATE APPEARS! TED WAS INVITED TO GO TO A BALL GAME. AS HE SAT IN HIS VIP SEAT, HE HAPPENED TO LOOK UP IN THE BLEACHERS AND COULDN’T BELIEVE HIS EYES. HE FOCUSED IN ON A VERY TALL, GIGANTIC INDIVIDUAL OF AFRICAN-AMERICAN DESCENT WHO WAS WEARING A MUSTARD PLAID JACKET. A MUSTARD PLAID JACKET AT A BALL GAME, IT MAKES SENSE. YOU EAT YOUR HOT DOG, YOU SPILL A LITTLE MUSTARD AND WHO IS GOING TO NOTICE? WHO IS GOING TO NOTICE? ONE TED TINGLING WHO HAS FOR FOUR YEARS PRAYED AND DREAMED ABOUT THIS MOMENT, THAT’S WHO!

AT THAT VERY MOMENT,

BY COINCIDENCE, OR INTERVENTION OF THE DIVINE, SOMEONE HIT A HOME RUN, THE CROWD ROSE TO THEIR FEET AND CHEERED, AND TED WAS TOTALLY CONVINCED IT WAS FOR THE RETURN OF HIS JACKET!

TED SAID, HIS HEART WAS POUNDING, HIS KNEES KNOCKING, HE RACED UP THE STEPS AND CONFRONTED THE “BEST DRESSED” GENTLEMAN IN THE CROWD. WHAT THE NEGOTIATIONS ENTAILED, TO THIS DAY, REMAINS A SECRET AS HE DID NOT VOLUNTEER TO SHARE IT WITH ME, BUT THAT NIGHT HE WORE “HIS” JACKET HOME.

HE DID TELL ME THAT THE PURPLE LACE PANTIES MADE THE FRONT PAGE BUT THE WOOL JACKET DID NOT. HE NEVER MISSED THE LACE BUT HE ADORED THE JACKET! IF ONLY THE WORLD HAD KNOWN.

IN 1990. JUDGE KELLEHER AND I BOARDED A PLANE IN LONDON FOR A RETURN TRIP TO L.A. WE SPOTTED TED TINLING SITTING IN FIRST CLASS BREATHING WITH THE AID OF AN OXYGEN TANK. HE WAS WEARING THE JACKET. HE INDICATED HE WAS NOT WELL AND PROBABLY WOULD NOT BE GETTING BETTER. I TOLD HIM NOT TO GIVE UP THAT THERE IS AT LEAST ONE MIRACLE LEFT WITH HIS NAME ON IT. HE LOOKED UP AND I SAW THE SAME SMILE ON HIS FACE THAT HE HAD WHEN HE FIRST TOLD ME ABOUT THE JACKET, AND HE SAID, “THE MIRACLE” WITH MY NAME ON IT? I AM WEARING IT! HE PASSED AWAY MAY 23, 1990.

I DON’T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO THE JACKET BUT I WOULD NOT BE SURPRISED THAT IT WAS THE FIRST THING THAT CAUGHT ST. PETER’S EYE AS THIS TENNIS LEGEND PASSED THROUGH THE PEARLY GATES. EVERY NOW AND THEN, I LOOK UP TO HEAVEN AND I SWEAR I CAN HEAR LAUGHTER AS HEAVEN’S PRESSES ARE ROLLING OUT HEADLINES THAT SAY “WHAT A JACKET”

AND THE LACE PANTIES? THEY SPEAK FOR THEMSELVES ON THE INTERNET OR REST IN THE MINDS OF THOSE WHO REMEMBER. TED TINLING AND HIS JACKET HAVE MOVED ON.

SIGRID DRAPER

EDITORS NOTE:SIGRID’S MEMORY IS THE PANTIES THAT TED TOLD HER ABOUT WERE PURPLE. WE KNOW THAT’S WHAT HE ALWAYS WISHED BUT THEY WERE NEVER PURPLE.

Topics: gussie moran, Gussy Moran, Ted Tinling, Teddy Tinling, Tennis, Wimbledon